Chances
by BellaEdwardlover1991
Summary: After tragedy strikes, Bella gets a unique chance. A story told in 50 drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

**Drabble War February 2012**

Here is some information on the participating authors and story summaries:

While last month we had twelve authors participate, we have cut it down to a more manageable size and we have **8 AUTHORS**!

If you are interested in participating in a future "War of the Words" then come on over to the **Drabble War Forum** group on Facebook. In the docs there are sign ups available for every month this year. "Wars" will take place on the middle weekend of each month. It is first come, first serve so come on over and claim your spot. We hope to see new "faces" each month!

The Drabble War Forum is not for authors only…it's also for the readers who want to follow along with the wars. It is a central place to meet and discuss the stories as they are posted. With each round, banners and summaries will be posted in the group as well as links to author profiles.

We also have a fanfiction . net community set up with all the 2012 Drabble War stories. fanfiction . net /community/ DRABBLE_WARS / 97678/14/0/1/

While we are labeling this a war, please be aware that no official winner will be determined. This is all in good fun…just friendly competition. The real winners are the readers who get 12 new stories each month!

Allow me to introduce the **February** participants:

CaraNo - .net/u/2712792/

Title: I Tell Myself

Summary: Bella comes to New York when she finds out that her grandmother only has three weeks left to live. While waiting for the nasty old hag to kick the bucket, she kills time in her mom's apartment building. Welcome to the Wisteria Lane of Manhattan. It's only three weeks, I tell myself.

Romance with a little humor and drama. Rated M for the usual.

JA Mash .net/u/2888001/JA_Mash

Title: Without A Hitch

Summary: When she tries to help a friend, Bella finds herself as an unofficial advice guru, with Edward as her latest project. Things get complicated when she falls for him instead. Romance/Humor Rated M

Fates-Love-Queen: .net/u/2022521/

Title: Speak To Me

Summary: Life on the streets is tough. Even tougher when you have to look after more than yourself. To protect her, Bella ran away from home with her little sister. When Tanya gets sick, Bella breaks into a posh house to steal essentials. Edward's house. And he's got a gun. How can she prove herself to him if she can't speak?

Drama/Angst with a HEA, I promise. Rated M for the usual.

Welcome2myworldxoxo: .net/~welcome2myworldxoxo

Title: Sea of Black

Summary: Summary: She knew him before she met him, but he would always disappear in a sea of black before she could see him. A story about taking control and finding your place in life. AH ExB. Mature

BellaEdwardlover1991: .net/u/1550347/

Title: Chances

Summary: After tragedy strikes, Bella gets a unique chance. A story told in 50 drabbles. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. Rated M

Judas Manifesto .net/u/2004334/

Til the World Ends by Judas Manifesto

.net/s/7696866/1/Til_The_World_Ends

Summary: The world has ended. Edward has been separated from his wife. When he comes to after an earthquake almost ending mankind, he goes in search for her to find she has joined a dangerous Vampire clan bent on world domination. AU, Post-Apocalyptic, Lemons.

Twiddler83: .net/~twiddler83

Title: Southern Honey

Summary: Moving from Chicago to a small town is a hard pill for Edward to swallow when he's always had a silver spoon in his mouth. His family wanted a change of pace and all he wanted was a plane ticket out of there, until a snarky southern honey becomes the color to his otherwise black and white life.

Humor/Romance/HEA, AH, Rated M, ExB

lenidrabbles: .net/~lenidrabbles Title:

Summary: Part of the _Courting Sin_ series (.:%20courting%20sin), BtVS4/AtS1 rewrite. As Buffy and Angelus make their relationship known and move to L.A., they will find out who is now their enemy and who is friend. The rules have changed, but the game stays the same. Or does it?

Warnings for language, violence, and possible character death. Rated R.

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><p><strong>We'll all start posting in exactly one week, make sure you're ready ;-) I will post the first chapter as follow up to this, as a teaser for next week!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I feel I have to warn everyone before they start reading this story.**

**Although the first part is fluff and cute and happy, this story contains what I feel is heavy Angst. I will promise there is a Happily Ever After, but it's gonna be a really bumpy ride. There will be other warnings when we move on.**

**In one week, the February Drabble war will begin and all participating authors will post their stories. I hope to see you then!**

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><p><strong>1. (Preface)<strong>

"Are you sure you want to do this? It will mean you will disappear from the timeline, no longer existing. You will be removed from everyone's memories, and their lives will be completely different. Everyone who knew you will be different and will be leading different lives. Can you handle that?"

I look at Fate with tears in my eyes. I realize very well what doing this means. But I have to, there is no other choice. I don't have any other options.

"It's worth it." My voice is no more than a whisper, but Fate hears me anyway.

"So be it."


	3. Chapter 3

**We're supposed to start on Friday... But we're impatient. So let's start!**

**Before we go on this ride that I call my drabble, I have to give some people a LOT of credit. My beta, texasbella, who read through and corrected everything in this fic within hours. Other than that, the other February Authors who've given me a lot of support and kept me motivated! I couldn't have done this without all of you. Thank you!**

**This story is all BPOV.**

**2. _Past._**

I was born in Phoenix, Arizona, but all I can remember is the wet, gloomy weather from Forks, Washington. According to the stories my mother always told me, we moved there about a month after I was born.

She never told me the reason why, even though I asked again and again.

My mother raised me alone. I was a smart kid and needed constant stimulation; otherwise I'd get cranky and throw a tantrum.

When I was about two years old, we got new neighbors. Being as smart as I was, I got all excited at the idea of new playmates. There weren't many kids on my street and my mother never allowed me to leave our street without her.

She never told me that reason either.

She didn't tell me a lot of things.

But that's something I didn't discover until much later.

When it was too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the confusion about re-uploading this one and the next couple of them, but I found out I made a mistake with re-numbering after re-editing when I got them back from my awesome beta, texasbella. But it's ok now, I fixed it.**

**Instead of the planned 25, you'll get 10 of them right after this one, going to 15. I will do my best to post 25 drabbles tomorrow but since I'm going to have a wedding dress fitting there's a chance I won't have the time. I'll just do my best!**

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><p><strong>3.<strong>

Although I was a little kid, I will never forget the day I met Edward. My mother picked me up and showed me the trucks and the men that were carrying furniture into the house next to us.

"Momma, who are they?" I asked her, only seeing big guys carrying couches and tables and boxes. I didn't understand the concept of moving just yet.

"Those guys work for a moving company. They help people move by carrying furniture and boxes inside that truck there. And then they drive the truck to the new house and take all of it out of the truck again so the people who are moving don't have to do any of that."

My mother always very patiently explained everything to me, something I learned to admire at a later age. Since I was a very curious kid, it must've been very annoying for my mom to get all the questions.

I always accepted her explanations though. My mother was a smart woman and always had answers for everything. And doesn't every kid think their parent is smart and awesome?

My mother gave me a stool to sit on so I could sit behind the window and watch the people. She taught me that if I was sitting on the high stool I wasn't allowed to move, which I never did.

I was such a good kid.

Most of the time.

I remember that day and all its moments for two reasons. First, it was the day I met Edward. Second, it was the first and only time my mom got so mad she hit me.

After some time of me sitting by the window, watching the new neighbor's house, the movers stopped moving boxes and furniture, stepped into the truck and left. Just as I was about to call for my mom to pick me up and let me down so I could play with toys again, I saw a black car arrive and park in the driveway.

I let out a little squeal of excitement, which caused my mom to run towards me to see what was going on. When she found out the new neighbors had arrived next door she put me down, told me to wait and that we would go over there soon.

I was too impatient though, and walked to the front door. I was a master in opening doors, something I never let my mom know because she'd start locking doors. That's how I was able to get on the neighbor's property. I walked through the plants and climbed through the hole in the fence and walked up towards my neighbors.


	5. Chapter 5

**4.**

"Oh my! Carlisle, come here!" The woman with the heart-shaped face yelled as soon as she saw me. For a second I was afraid I was in trouble, but then the woman kneeled down and smiled at me.

"Hey there, little girl. What's your name?"

"Bella," I said as clearly as I could. It probably sounded like "Bewwa." I grinned back at the beautiful lady.

"My name is Esme. How old are you Bella?" she asked me. As an answer, I held up two fingers. "Oh how wonderful! My son, Edward, is two as well! Would you like to meet him?"

I nodded enthusiastically, clapping my hands in excitement. Then the lady frowned.

"Does your mommy know you're here?"

Her question made me blush, because no, my mommy didn't know. I didn't know how to tell her that and I was afraid of more questions, so I simply shook my head.

Right at that time, a shriek came from my house. It took ten seconds for my mother to come running out, calling my name. When she saw me sitting next to Esme she sighed in relief.

"Bella! Never scare me like that again, you hear me?" I almost started crying when I heard the anger in my mother's voice. No one talked like that to me, but when it happened I knew I was in trouble!

"Hi there, I'm Esme. I assume this wonderful little girl is yours?"

I didn't dare to look at either adult, afraid they'd chastise me for doing something that wasn't allowed. Luckily my mother's voice didn't sound angry anymore as she greeted our new neighbor.

"Hi, I'm Renee and yes, this is my daughter, Isabella. We live in that house over there!" she said, pointing at our house.

A man came out of the door, his blond hair shining in the sunlight.

"That's my husband, Carlisle," Esme introduced him. He smiled. "Please, come in! Everything is a mess but I'd like to introduce Bella to Edward, our son."

My mother picked me up and followed Esme and Carlisle inside. There I saw someone my age, someone to play with. He was holding some building blocks with letters on them. I didn't know any but the 'B' which was the one he had in his hands.

I walked over to him and sat down.

"That's my letter," I told him. He just looked at me and stared. He didn't say anything, so I just started talking.

"My name is Bella. What's your name?" He didn't answer, just kept staring at me with wide eyes, completely shocked silent.

His mom knelt next to me. "His name is Edward, and he's two, just like you!"

"Eddie!" I said, grabbing the block which I recognized as E.

With that, we were off and he started talking to me. None of it made any sense to anyone but him and me.

We were in our own little world.


	6. Chapter 6

**5.**

Starting at two years old, we spent almost every day together, either at his place or mine, depending on what our parents were doing that day.

In addition to Edward and I becoming best friends, our parents got along really well too. More often than not, my mother would spend the night with the Cullens or they would come over to our place.

There are pictures around of Edward and me sharing a bed because we couldn't be left alone and our parents would just take us along.

As we grew older and bigger we also started playing different games.

At nearly four years old, we played hide and seek, our favorite game. One of our parents was always watching us – I'd taken to calling Carlisle and Esme 'mommy and daddy' as well as calling my own mother mom- and I can remember many days where they were smiling happily at us while we were enjoying our youth.

Such happy times.


	7. Chapter 7

**6.**

I will never forget my first day of school.

First of all, my mom went to work that day, dropping me off at the Cullen's place. At first, that was all fun and good until they took Edward and I me to school.

And left us behind.

Both Edward and I cried our eyes out. The teacher, Miss Jean, told us we would have fun and just play together. Nothing special.

Edward and I didn't let go of each others' hands all day. But we did have fun. The other kids were quite nice, and we all played together.

It wasn't until later that the other kids began to understand that our bond was 'weird'. But during those early years everything was still fun and awesome.

Luckily I always had Edward, and he had me.


	8. Chapter 8

**7.**

At a later age, Edward and I still hung out together. I'd caught our parents talking about us once, thinking we'd get married in the future.

At that age, when girls have cooties and boys are 'ew', that thought didn't appeal to me at all. Edward and I remained just friends, hanging out and doing homework together.

That got to be quite the issue for a while. I sucked at Maths and Physics while Edward sucked at English and Social Studies. We helped each other out there, sometimes even doing each other's homework so we'd be done earlier and we could go back to playing together.

Twice a week I'd do both of our homework since Edward had piano lessons. It was so worth it to sit there in the dining room, working on our homework while Edward filled the house with soft piano music. It was so relaxing, and he had such a talent.

I remember one day, I was sitting in the dining room while Edward was playing. I was working on my homework when the music stopped. Soon after that, Edward appeared in the doorway, looking sad and guilty.

"I don't want you to do my homework for me anymore Bella; I'll do it myself after practice."

I frowned. "But I don't mind doing it for you. You play the piano which relaxes me, and I do your homework so we can do something else afterwards!"

"I'll do it in the evening, okay?" Edward's voice was so strange that I had to agree.

"But the second you show up at school with your homework not done, I'll do it for you again okay?" Edward agreed to that.

I'll never forget that small argument we had, so totally the other way around of what other kids have. We were just that way with each other; completely selfless, completely willing to sacrifice ourselves for the other.


	9. Chapter 9

**8.**

By the end of middle school the kids started to make fun of our connection.

They started to understand that it was not natural for two people to be the way we were, so they figured something must have been wrong with us.

Edward had a strong personality and always managed to stand up against them, while I was never able to.

One afternoon, I was walking towards my locker after a long school day and a school paper meeting after classes. The hallway was empty, my footsteps echoing.

I opened my locker to get the stuff I needed for homework when suddenly Mike, James, Tyler and Laurent were surrounding me. I hadn't heard them coming close at all so I gave a little screech out of fear.

"H-Hi guys," I said, trying to sound like I wasn't scared at all. But it was pretty obvious that I was since my voice was trembling. I couldn't help it; these were the boys that were always teasing me and Edward, always making fun of us. I had no idea what was going to happen, no idea what they wanted to do.

"Hey there, Bella," Mike said, his voice sending the bad kind of chills down my spine. The other guys laughed menacingly.

Suddenly I was pushed against the locker, my hands grabbed together behind my back. I screamed as someone pulled on my hair and a hand quickly covered my mouth. I squirmed and tried to get away but four boys against one girl was a hopeless case.

Resigned, I stopped resisting them. A body pressed against mine, making it hard for me to breathe while a full blown panic was going on in my mind.

"HEY!"

Within seconds, all hands on me and bodies around me disappeared. I collapsed on the floor, struggling to breathe while footsteps hurried away through the hallway.

"Stay here Bella, I'll get a teacher," Edward's sweet voice said in my ear. His hand touched my cheek, which made me realize I was crying.

When he pulled away, I grabbed his wrist. He turned around and faced me. I got up, and hugged him fiercely.

"Thank you."

All four got suspended for a month, the incident forever on their record. But I never felt safe again in middle school.


	10. Chapter 10

**9.**

During the summer between middle and high school I figured out I had a major crush on Edward. I always had, I just never let the feelings hit me.

We were outside, playing with water, Edward's wet chest – although not sculpted yet – glistening in the sun, his smile blinding me more than the sun… Yeah, I understood those were not feelings you had for someone who was just a friend, or like a brother.

I had a very hard time that summer, trying to figure out how to act around Edward. We'd never been like that so of course he noticed, asking me what was wrong several times a day but I always just shrugged and tried to ignore it.

It didn't help, and at one point I started avoiding Edward, leaving my house before he'd wake up to go visit Angela, another friend of mine or just go to the library, or La Push beach.

I did pretty much anything to avoid him, avoid my feelings.

I just didn't know how to deal with them, and I didn't feel like I could ask my mom, and asking Esme would be too awkward.

It was a very lonely summer. And one day, it got even worse.


	11. Chapter 11

**10.**

It was a morning I left the house early to walk around town.

I didn't have a lot of money so it's not like I could go into the bookstore and sit there all day without buying anything. I got kicked out at one point for doing that, the owner stating that, 'it's not a library'. Which I knew, but the nearest library was far away and I couldn't get there.

So I was just walking around town, sitting down at swings before getting up and walking again.

I was just about to get something to drink when I felt my heart break, my eyes teared up and my breath caught in my throat.

Edward. With another girl. His arm around her shoulders. Both of them laughing.

Not too long ago, that had been me. I was the one under his arm, laughing with him about some kind of private joke.

The hurt I felt was unbelievable.

When I saw Edward look up in my direction, I turned around and ran away. I heard him call my name, but I didn't turn back.

Jealousy is one of the worst emotions to deal with. But oh, how I wished I was her.


	12. Chapter 12

**11.**

I hurried home and jumped right into bed. Since my mother wasn't home she also couldn't ask questions about why I was crying my eyes out.

I buried myself underneath my blanket, just hiding away from the world. My tears stopped quickly as I kept staring ahead, seeing nothing.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt a weight on my bed, making me scream.

"Calm down!" Edward's voice said in my ear.

I quickly crawled away from him, sitting as far away from him as possible on my twin bed. He didn't move.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

"Nothing," I replied automatically.

"Bullshit! You've been avoiding me for the past few weeks, leaving the house extra early just so you don't have to see me, and then the second you see me you run away! Something IS going on, and you're going to tell me what. Right here, right now!"

I was shocked by his outburst. Edward had never raised his voice with me in my life.

Then again, we hadn't been distant like this either. And that was entirely my fault. Then the image of him and the girl came up.

"Go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone," I snapped.

Edward's eyes widened. "Girlfriend?" He sounded genuinely surprised. He was a good actor.

Or was he speaking the truth? Doubt flooded my mind.

"I saw you with that girl," I accused him, but my tone wasn't angry anymore. It was just sad.

"Bella, how can you think Jessica could ever be my girlfriend? She's no-" he broke himself off, shaking his head. "Never mind. Maybe I should go."

I sat there, saying nothing, doing nothing. He stood up and walked towards my bedroom door.

"Why do you care so much anyhow?"

I cringed as I had been fearing this question. I had had the feeling it was coming, but I didn't want to answer it. So I stayed silent, hoping Edward would give up like always.

But he didn't.

"Come on, tell me. You used to tell me everything, before you pulled away from me. You used to tell me every little secret – what made that stop?"

I still didn't answer. I looked out of my window, avoiding Edward's gaze. Footsteps came closer, and again I felt a weight on the bed. He surprised me again when he grabbed my chin roughly, forcing me to look at his face.

"Tell me." It wasn't a question, it was a command.

"I don't want to!" I said.

"You have to!" Edward said, almost sounding desperate.

"I care because I care about you okay!" I blurted out.

We were silent after that for a couple of seconds that lasted a lifetime in my opinion.

"In what way?" Edward asked.

I stayed silent, already feeling like I had said too much.

"Bella…are you in love with me too?"

"Too?" My mind focused on that one little word. I knew my voice sounded like that of a little girl but hell, that little word gave me so much hope.

He shook his head, almost laughing. "Silly Bella," he said. "How could you not know?"

I shrugged and blushed. "I just…I haven't really known myself for very long," I admitted.

"That's why you pulled away?" He pushed a strand of hair out of my face, letting it rest behind my ear.

I nodded. "I just…I didn't know how to handle it, how to let it not destroy our friendship."

"You could've talked to me. We can talk about anything remember?"

I blushed again.

"Now, will you be my girlfriend?" Edward smiled at me.

"Yes."


	13. Chapter 13

**12.**

"Hey, Bella, are you and Edward, like, together now?" Angela asked me.

Alice, Rose and Angela all looked at me, munching on popcorn but totally _not_ focusing on the movie.

It was the day after the incident; the day after I'd became a _girlfriend._ I had called my friends that were _not_ Edward – and were girls – to talk about it and be a girl for once.

So as soon as I called them, they immediately planned a ladies' night at my place. Since Edward wasn't home anyway, I couldn't spend time with him and being home alone, sitting around doing nothing, didn't really appeal to me.

"Yeah," I replied, grinning.

The rest of the night was spent on how awesome Edward and I were together, and dreams of different possible futures.


	14. Chapter 14

**13.**

The first day back in school as boyfriend and girlfriend was awkward for Edward and me.

We'd only become 'official' as a couple a few days before, and he had to go visit his grandma during three out of those four days. The fourth day, the day before we returned to school, was Sunday, which was partially spent in church. Finally that afternoon Edward and I spent time together.

It was a little bit awkward, because we really didn't act any different than before. We always were really close, none of that had changed.

And I was too shy to kiss him. That's what I thought boyfriends and girlfriends did.

Although it was awkward for Edward and me – because we didn't know how to act – the rest of the school didn't see any changes.

Nothing changed except for Edward and me.

And we didn't change that much.


	15. Chapter 15

**14.**

After school we went to Edward's place like always. I had no idea how to act around Edward, and it was obvious he didn't know either by the way his hand twitched before grabbing mine.

Before he would've grabbed it without even half a second of hesitating, it's just the way we'd always been.

I was afraid of destroying our friendship with my feelings, I never thought about those feelings being mutual. But I never expected things to be _this_ awkward when we were both feeling the same way about each other.

It scared me.

Edward pulled me inside his house and pulled me to our usual spot; his dining room. There we sat down.

I was surprised we weren't immediately greeted by Esme, like usual.

"Where's your mom?"

"I don't know," Edward replied.

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, looking me straight in the eye.

Uh oh.


	16. Chapter 16

**15.**

"Bella… can I kiss you?"

I blinked, totally surprised at first. Then I started laughing. He laughed too, though a little hesitantly.

"You know I'm in love with you, and you asked me to be your girlfriend to which I said yes with my whole heart. You really think you have to ask for a kiss?"

Edward shrugged, smiling sheepishly. "It's the polite thing to do."

I smiled. "Carlisle taught you well."

We were silent for a couple of seconds. Then our eyes locked, and the atmosphere around us changed. Without realizing it we were leaning in, and then our lips touched.

I closed my eyes, simply enjoying his soft lips on mine. It was the first kiss for each of us, so it was a little awkward at first with both of us frozen, but then instinct seemed to take over.

His hand cupped my cheek and my hands gripped his shoulders as our lips start moving together, sucking a little here and there while simply getting used to the feeling. At one point, Edward's hand moved from my cheek to my neck, further down where he stroked my breast. Surprised at the sensation, I gave a little moan which made me pull away from Edward out of embarrassment.

I felt my cheeks burn, knowing I had made that sound that was totally strange to my ears. Then I looked at Edward's face, his eyes were sparkling, his cheeks were flushed and his breath was coming out in slight pants.

I knew then that I'd done something right.


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm going to upload up till 24 now, then till 40 tonight. As long as works with us, of course. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Although I don't have the time to respond to everyone, I read and appreciate them all!**

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><p><strong>16.<strong>

It took us two years to finally get to our first time having sex. We were both sixteen when we had agreed that we were ready.

Everyone around us, including my mother who had made sure I knew everything there was to know about sex, safe sex and how to have fun while not being pressured into anything, was surprised that we waited that long.

Emmett and Jasper had made so many jokes about it, and Alice, Rose and Angela had really questioned me thoroughly on all of it, but it didn't matter. It was our decision, and we were finally ready.

My mother, being the extraordinary parent she was, took out Esme and Carlisle for a weekend away. What mother would do that? Well, mine.

Edward and I both kept talking it through, about our nervousness and emotions and everything around it. By the time we were naked on my bed, we were so nervous that both of us were shaking.

Then I kissed him, really kissed him and lust took over.

From there on everything happened without a single thought about it. The moment he was about to enter me our eyes locked and we told each other 'I love you' before finally going through our first time.

It was very short, which we both expected. It only hurt a little for me; Edward's pride was probably more hurt than my body. I had had no doubt I would be sore for the next couple of days afterwards. But it had been totally worth it, and we were both looking forward to practicing and getting better at making love.


	18. Chapter 18

**17.**

Going to college for us was not a problem at all. We knew we would never pick a college that wouldn't accept both of us so when the acceptance letters came in, we only looked at the ones that we would both get into.

We finally settled on U-Dub, although there were better options. But this one was the closest to home and everyone but Alice was going there. Alice had to be different and go to New York to become a fashion designer.

Edward and I got an apartment together; our parents helping us support ourselves so we wouldn't have to work too much in addition to school.

Now don't get me wrong, as perfect as our life sounded, we still had arguments every now and then. And we didn't always pass tests. And sometimes there was a bill or two to worry about, but that was all part of growing up and Edward and I did it without any complaint at all.


	19. Chapter 19

**18.**

After college, I got a job at Forks High. The English teacher was retiring as I was applying for a job so I got lucky. Edward was a private music teacher, and together we were living a life that was perfect for us in a perfect little house just down the road from our parents and friends.

Life was easy for us although living together wasn't always easy. We both had things we didn't like about each other, but we dealt with it and moved on.

Some people wondered how we did it, how we could still have a relationship as strong as ours after so long of being together, first as friends and then as more. People didn't seem to realize that was part of why we were so good together.

And it's not like we spent every minute of every day together. I had my job, Edward had his and we still went out with friends separately, having a girl's night out or a guy's night. This kept our relationship fresh and healthy.

Money wasn't tight, we had no worries and all we did was love each other and have fun.


	20. Chapter 20

**19.**

"Oh, yes! Keep going please," I whimpered. Edward laughed and kept thrusting into me at the same slow pace, hitting exactly the right spot. I was moaning and talking and whimpering and just hanging on for the ride. Edward just made me feel so good.

I felt him shudder when I ran my nails over his back, followed by a low groan. It made me grin. I knew it was something he _really_ liked, my nails digging in his back.

"You like that, huh?" I whispered. Another laugh followed. I felt him speed up and I knew he was about to come.

"Come for me baby, please," Edward groaned. He leaned up, changing the angle, which made me moan but as soon as his thumb touched my clit, I was gone.

Once we'd both calmed down we curled up together, cuddling until we fell asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**20.**

Edward asked me to marry him right before my twenty-third birthday.

For us, there was really no reason to wait and we didn't want a big wedding – which was a huge disappointment for Alice, who'd wanted to be my wedding planner for years - so we got married a couple of weeks after.

I had a beautiful wedding dress and Edward wore a tux and everyone else was wearing nice clothes and smiling. We were all just very happy.

Our honeymoon was spent in Hawaii, filled with being lazy at the beach, making love and some sightseeing. The two weeks flew by and soon we were back to work.

Nothing really changed, except for the fact there were now two beautiful rings on a certain finger. And my last name changed from Swan to Cullen, which was just paperwork that wasn't actually necessary since I'd been part of the Cullen family for so long.

But we went through it anyway because the sparkle in Edward's eyes when my name was officially changed was _so_ worth it.


	22. Chapter 22

**21.**

When nausea and tiredness became symptoms of my everyday life, it came as no surprise to anyone when my pregnancy test came back positive.

Still, it was nerve wracking for me when I was waiting those minutes until I could go check on it. Edward and I had talked about having kids before and decided that I would stop with my birth control right before our marriage. I had really hoped I'd be pregnant; it would be the next step in our perfect life.

When it was positive, I cried. When I told Edward, he cried too, which just made me cry more.

"We're going to be parents!" He said.

"Yes we are," I laughed through my tears.

We hugged and life couldn't have been more perfect.


	23. Chapter 23

**22.**

My pregnancy was fairly easy.

Besides the puking and the tiredness and the back pain at the end of it, there were no problems. Two days before my due date, my little girl decided she'd had enough of me and wanted out.

I was lucky and didn't have a very difficult birth.

Emma Hailey Cullen was born mid-afternoon on February 2nd. I cried when I got to hold her in my arms for the first time, and I cried more when Edward held her and gave Emma her first kiss from daddy.

The whole family fell in love with her immediately. Many comments followed on her reddish hair, which she obviously had gotten from Edward. I hoped she'd have his green eyes too. We were all certain she'd be a heartbreaker when she's older.

I had laughed when Edward growled at just the thought of that.


	24. Chapter 24

**23.**

Emma quickly became Daddy's little girl.

When he sang to her or held her, she just turned into this sweet little angel, all quiet and compliant. This continued as she grew bigger and older, and after her second birthday, when I found out I was pregnant again she threw the biggest fit, afraid she was going to lose our love and attention.

Edward took her out for a day of fun while I worked on my favorite thing to do: writing.

With my first novel being published within a month, I had to have the next novel ready to be published soon. Luckily this was part three that I was working on. Part two was already being edited and getting ready to get published.

I was happy, all the dreams I'd ever had had come true and I just couldn't see how life could be more wonderful.


	25. Chapter 25

**24.**

"Wow, dude! You got her pregnant again?" Emmett exclaimed when we announced to our friends that we were pregnant again. Alice and Rose both hurried over to hug me while Jasper clapped Edward on his back, grinning.

"Whoa Rose, watch out with that belly," I laughed when her big belly bumped into me.

"I know, I know, I'm a whale. Only three more weeks and it should be better," she answered, laughing too.

We all knew she was looking forward to having her little girl. As the last couple of the group to get a kid, Emmett and Rose had some experience being an aunt and uncle to Ryan and Emma.

"Ryan Edward Hale! Get down here and stop bothering Emma!" Alice yelled at her three year old son, who was tickling Emma. She was laughing and shrieking and looked just plain happy.

We'd all thought they were exactly like me and Edward when we were little.


	26. Chapter 26

**Changes of plans. You get up to 31 today, then**

* * *

><p><strong>25.<strong>

My 25th birthday was celebrated at my mom's.

Apparently it was a big deal kind of age. I didn't really care so much, but Edward and his parents wanted to throw me a big party.

Of course my mom forgot half of the stuff we needed for the party, and of course I offered to go to the store for her while everyone else was already there.

When I got back, I parked my car around the corner since our driveway was filled and walked towards my house. I was almost there when it happened.

An explosion. A blinding light and noise so loud my ears rang at once. I was blown backwards by the force of it, my head hitting the street.

I opened my eyes, shocked, hoping to see that it wasn't my house.

It was.

Edward was inside. Emma. My parents. Edward's parents. My friends. Everyone.

Everyone I loved.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes. Shit hits the fan. HEA, I promise.<strong>


	27. Chapter 27

**26.**

I cried and I bawled. It's all I did for a couple of days.

No one got out. Everyone died in that explosion.

Police said they couldn't find the _natural_ cause of the explosion.

So my loved ones were murdered.

I was all alone.

My daughter. My Husband. My parents. My friends. All gone.

No one was left.

The house I grew up in was gone.

The Cullen's place had been heavily damaged.

Not that I could've gone back to either of them.

Too many memories.

The child in my belly was gone too.

I had nothing left.

People came by to tell me how sorry they were for me. I didn't see them, just nodded and thanked them.

I was a ghost, lost in grief.


	28. Chapter 28

**27.**

The funeral happened about a week after the explosion. I was there but I was not.

I wished I would have been in the house too.

Everyone was gone.

It was a mass funeral, attended by the whole town.

I didn't hear the words spoken.

I didn't speak.

I had nothing to say.

None of this mattered.

No one important to me was still alive anyway.

I should've been there with them. Died with them.

To avoid the pain.

The sadness.

It hurt so fucking much.

I couldn't even cry.

I sat there, staring in front of me.

People kept saying how sorry they were.

I kept being hugged by people I didn't want to touch me.

But I didn't have the energy to struggle against them.


	29. Chapter 29

**28.**

I didn't do anything.

I didn't move.

I didn't eat.

I didn't sleep.

I was paralyzed with pain and sadness.

All I wanted was to join my loved ones in death and whatever came after.

I sat down in a chair and stared out of the window.

Day by day.

Sometimes I napped. Then I woke up, imagining Edward's kisses and Emma's giggles.

Then reality had hit.

People were worried about me.

They told me to move on.

Months after, I was still the same.

I got hospitalized, where they nursed me back to health, physically anyway.

Once I got released from there, they tried to make sure I saw a shrink every week.

I didn't go.

There was nothing to talk about.

Nothing mattered.


	30. Chapter 30

**29. _Present_**

It has been six months since the explosion, and I've had enough.

I am ready to join my loved ones. I can't do this alone.

People have tried to get through to me, but it's not working for anyone.

I set up a will so everything I own will get donated to charity.

I drive my car to La Push and walk up to the cliffs.

_Edward… Mom… Esme… Carlisle… I'm joining you soon. Emma… Baby girl… I'll see you soon honey. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again baby girl. I'm sure God will let me join you in heaven._

I stand on the cliff for a while, looking at the sunset so it's the last thing I see before I jump.

When the sun is about to set, I let myself fall.

Into the rocks below.


	31. Chapter 31

**30.**

When I wake up, I expect to be in heaven.

Instead I am greeted by a cloaked figure. I can't see a face, but I don't feel like I am in danger.

"Greetings, Isabella Swan." The voice is deep, strong and comforting.

"It's Cullen," I correct automatically.

"You were born as Swan."

"Are you God?" I say with a trembling voice.

"I am Fate."

"Oh." I have no idea what to say.

"I am sorry about what happened to you, Isabella Swan." The voice sends shivers down my spine, but the words make me alert immediately.

"Do you know what happened?" I ask.

"Yes." It almost sounds like Fate is smiling. "I know everything."

"Can you tell me?" I ask with a trembling voice.

"How about I show you, too?"

"Um, okay?" I'm not sure if I have a choice, so I just go along with it.

"About thirty years ago, your mother met a man named Charles Swan."

"My father?" I ask, knowing my mother gave me his last name even if though they were never married.

"Yes. They were in love. There was only one problem; Charles was the son of a mafia boss." I feel my mouth fall open, but don't dare to interrupt. Fate shows me how they met and their love for each other. It's almost…romantic.

"When your mother found out she was pregnant, she went into hiding until you were born. Then, as you know, she took you to some unknown town in the opposite part of the country. She tried to protect you by keeping you away as far as possible from your father," Fate pauses, letting that sink in.

"About a year ago, your father found out about your existence and was absolutely destroyed by the fact that Renee hid the fact that he had a daughter. He vowed to destroy you."

I feel myself tear up, already figuring out where this is going, but Fate continues.

"Your father had people spying on you. He saw how happy you were and how perfect your life was. He wished he was part of that too since he never wanted the life he was leading. He wanted to escape, preferably with Renee. When he found out about your birthday party, he knew that was his chance to get his revenge. He had bombs installed in the house, and had them explode. You were supposed to be in that house, or close enough to die."

I cry again for the lives of my loved ones, the ones I lost because of the decisions of a selfish man.

Since he can't be happy, no one is allowed to be happy? That's so horrible.


	32. Chapter 32

**31.**

Fate lets me cry, waits until I've calmed down a little before speaking up again.

"Now, I'd like to give you a unique chance. It'll save the lives of your loved ones, but you won't be in their lives anymore."

"Yes!" I jump to the chance immediately. Edward living again? My mom? The Cullens? My friends? All of them living again? I don't even have to think about it.

"Are you sure you want to do this? It will mean you will disappear from the timeline, no longer existing. You will be removed from everyone's memories, and their lives will be completely different. Everyone who knew you will be different and will be leading different lives. Can you handle that?"

I look at Fate with tears in my eyes. I realize very well what doing this means. But I have to, there is no other choice. I don't have any other options.

"It's worth it." My voice is no more than a whisper, but Fate hears me anyway.

"So be it."

* * *

><p><strong>This was the worst of it. I promise. :) HEA, remember.<strong>


	33. Chapter 33

**That was the worst of it, I promise. Sorry for not giving you a tissue warning!**

* * *

><p><strong>32.<strong>

For some reason, I am allowed to watch how everyone's lives unfold without me. I'm shown the most important parts of their lives, which were supposedly affected by my existence.

We start with my mom.

She didn't get pregnant with me. Instead, she stayed with Charles and they loved each other with everything they had, kind of like Edward and I did. But Charlie, as my mother called him, had too many responsibilities within the mafia so their relationship was under tremendous strain. They married about two years after I was born, and got killed three weeks after that.

Apparently Charlie was never allowed pure happiness, the bliss of a family and a perfect life. And Renee got dragged along with him.

She never should've met him.


	34. Chapter 34

**33.**

Everyone in Forks High is no different at all. Life goes on, teachers go on and it seems like I haven't made any impact at all in high school. The High School newspaper is still of good quality, classes are the same.

The only thing that changed is the fact that gym class is a lot safer for everyone. No more balls or rackets hitting people, no more bruises for anyone who ever played with me.

It makes me sad to see that I meant so little in High School, that life is the same without me, nothing changed at all.


	35. Chapter 35

**34.**

Without me and my mother living next door, the Cullen's have a very different life in Forks.

Esme and Carlisle never really connect with anyone, and soon Forks sees them as people who supposedly think they are better than the rest of town because they never hang out with neighbors. They're whispered about when they go to the store and Carlisle's life at the hospital becomes nearly impossible after a while.

Esme gets really upset with a couple of women at the store one time which earns her the stamp of 'town fool'. They're not happy, and it very nearly breaks up their marriage. They hold on, but become a really secluded couple, hardly ever going out in public.

The Esme and Carlisle I've always known are gone.


	36. Chapter 36

**35.**

Alice, without me as one of her best friends, is a very shy and lonely girl.

Since I introduced her to Rosalie and Angela when she was new in town, she doesn't have any friends and no way of getting rid of the energy she's always had. In her younger years she's this creative genius, which turns into rebellion when she's hitting puberty.

With her shortness and no group of close friends to tell her she's fine the way she is, and her parents wanting the perfect tall, blonde daughter who's dating the perfect rich guy, she caves under the pressure and slips into a deep depression that takes her years to get out of.

I cry again, feeling sorry for her life but also happy in a selfish way that I had such a positive impact on her life by being her friend.


	37. Chapter 37

**36.**

Without me, Alice doesn't have any contact with Edward. And without Edward knowing Alice, Jasper never meets the love of his life who keeps him on the right path. He doesn't meet the bubble of energy that cheers him up and loves him no matter his background, no matter his family.

With a father and mother that are always drunk and high on drugs, Jasper easily meets the wrong people and strays off the path.

At fifteen, he's a drug dealer and supplies Forks, and even Port Angeles, with drugs of both the light and heavy kind. At age seventeen, he gets caught with thousands of dollars worth of drugs and is thrown in jail.

For life.

I cry more for Jasper and the sad life he lives, and feel sorry for him and his lack of Alice in his life. I know that having the love of your life with you makes fighting for a positive life worth it.


	38. Chapter 38

**37.**

Without meeting me, Rosalie never meets Angela and Alice. Just like with Alice, it means that her support group doesn't exist.

The sweet, kind Rosalie with a heart of gold that I know disappears in third grade, when she gets bullied out of jealousy. The other girls are jealous of her pretty blonde hair, and her rich parents that always supply her with everything. She quickly learns to fight back and becomes the bitch of the school.

She's not unhappy but not very happy either. The 'friends' she has around her are fake and she knows it. Jessica, Lauren and Tanya just want to be her friends because they want to be the sluts of the school. Although Rose doesn't act like a slut like 'her' girls do, she is associated with them which causes her image to be damaged forever.

Her parents keep showing how disappointed they are in her, which makes Rosalie want to prove herself to them in any way she can. Unfortunately this causes her to get caught in a web of lies fabricated by Royce King, the guy she eventually marries.

He abuses her and leaves her after damaging her so much she can't ever have children. Rose's number one wish has been taken away from her.

I cry for the loss of her dreams, and wish she'd met the other girls to have their support.


	39. Chapter 39

**38.**

Emmett, the sweet guy full of energy, is repulsed by Rosalie's bitchiness. Although he has a crush on her, he never approaches her, leaving another perfect couple without each other.

Like Jasper, he joins the wrong crowd for a while but he manages to remove himself from that environment. Instead, he goes to college like he did when I knew him, but he drops out soon enough to work at a garage in Forks, working on cars and fixing them.

After a couple of years of being Forks' best car mechanic, he opens his own body shop, making good money that way instead of being a successful lawyer like he was when I knew him.

For some reason I think this is something he enjoys more. I'm happy his life isn't as bad as the others.


	40. Chapter 40

**39.**

Without Rose and Alice to help her crawl out of her shell, Angela stays this incredibly shy girl hidden behind books. I know how beautiful she is without her glasses and her bad hairstyle, so it breaks my heart to see her beauty hidden behind all of that when she was one of the hottest girls in school, and one of the nicest ones too.

Ben still likes her though, and after he's gathered up the courage to ask her out they become a couple anyway. After high school, they split up for a couple of years while they go to college. Then a chance encounter gets them back together, leaving them married with four kids a couple of years later.

I'm happy that even though her life is different than before, Angela still gets her happily ever after.


	41. Chapter 41

**40.**

The hardest person for me to watch is Edward's life. That's probably why Fate left his life for last.

Since Edward's life is the one I affected most, we start at the beginning with him.

The pain I feel at seeing him again is almost unbearable, but knowing he's alive because of my sacrifice makes it worth it, even if Emma will never exist.

Edward doesn't have me to socialize with, he doesn't have me to do his homework with or have me introduce him to people at school. So soon, he becomes this loner guy who is a genius on the piano and any musical instrument he touches.

At age eighteen, he's composed a couple of symphonies which have been picked up by an orchestra in Seattle at first. Later this turns into even bigger things. Edward becomes a really famous composer, but he's lonely and unhappy anyway.

He never finds anyone he connects with, and for some reason he doesn't settle for second best.

Apparently I really am the only right person for Edward. That makes me happy, but sad for him when I see him die alone at the age of 63.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm going to upload the last 10 tonight.<strong>


	42. Chapter 42

**Thank God fanfiction decided to work again in time before bed. Here's the last 10.**

* * *

><p><strong>41.<strong>

"I have never seen anyone as brave as you," Fate tells me while I wipe some tears away. I look up, confused.

"You've watched everyone you loved lead different lives without you in it, some happy and some not. I have not felt a single ounce of jealousy or regret from you at all, just unhappiness for people's lives that weren't as good as before, and happiness for the ones who did have a happy life. You never once regretted your decision, you still feel your sacrifice of your life and happiness is worth it so they don't have to die."

I nod, still confused as to where Fate is going with this.

"I'm sending you back."

"NO!" I scream, immediately in panic. "No, please don't. I can't live without them, please don't kill them again. They need to live. Please!"

Fate smiles, touches my hand and then everything goes black.


	43. Chapter 43

**42.**

I feel like I'm falling, falling, falling like Alice down the rabbit hole. Memories of a life unknown to me go through my mind.

Charlie and Renee, my parents, are cheering me on as I take my first steps.

Edward and I meeting the same way we did before.

Most of the old memories I know are the same, except for the fact that my parents are now actually together and happy, like they've always been.

Everyone else is still the same as they were during my first life.

Yet nothing is the same. Emma Hailey has a little brother, Jackson Ray. Edward and I have bought a beautiful house together, big enough for more children. I'm pregnant again.

I'm back in my old life, but about a year ahead. That's what my memories tell me.

Then the falling stops, and I open my eyes.


	44. Chapter 44

**43.**

I'm in bed. I sit up, confused, touching my head. Was all of that real? Was it a dream? I look at my hand, and what I see nearly makes me roll out of bed in shock.

Where Fate touched my hand, there is a beautiful necklace with a bright blue stone with the sign from Fate's shirt in it. It's obviously the sign of Fate.

So all of that was real?

I try to think back to what happened, but my head just hurts more. I remember it all when I don't think about it, but when I do my head starts hurting immediately.

"Are you okay honey?" Edward's sleepy, voice asks gruffly.

"Yeah baby, it was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep," I answer, almost feeling like bursting into tears when I feel his arms wrap around me and hold me tight against him.

This is real.

I have my Edward back.


	45. Chapter 45

**44.**

The next morning when I wake up and still feel Edward next to me, all I can feel is relief. I didn't wake up, still depressed and lonely without everyone in my life.

I snuggle closer to Edward, breathing in his scent that just smells like home. I feel a tear slip on my cheek.

I startle when Edward wipes it away. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I just had a really bad dream last night, you and everyone else died on my birthday and I was all alone," I tell him, sticking as close to the truth as possible. "It felt so real." A sob escapes, again revealing the relief going through my body.

"Shhh, it's okay," Edward soothes me, his hand rubbing my back while he kisses my head.

I close my eyes and just feel.


	46. Chapter 46

**45.**

The alarm goes off in Emma's room about half an hour later, and it takes about thirty seconds for a little body to land on our bed. It jumps up and down, jostling Edward and me around.

"Momma! Papa! Wake up! Wake up! It's Christmas!" Emma screams. I frown, confused but then the memories of putting the presents under the Christmas tree last night flood my mind.

Right. It's Christmas.

"Hey there kiddo," Edward says. "You've been such a good girl, staying in your room until your alarm goes off. Have you been downstairs yet?"

"No!" My little girl squeals. "Can I go? Can I go? Please?"

Both Edward and I laugh. "Yes, baby girl, go ahead and go downstairs. We'll be down in a minute. Don't open any presents just yet! Wait for us to come downstairs with Jackson!"

When she squeals and hurries downstairs, I cry again.

"It's just hormones honey," Edward laughs.

Right. I'm pregnant. In three more months we have another little one running around.


	47. Chapter 47

**46.**

We carry Jackson downstairs, who is still drowsy and just wants to go back to sleep. As soon as we sit down, Emma starts looking at packages with her name on it and starts tearing off the wrapping paper.

"Only unwrap two gifts, Emma," Edward tells our daughter. She pouts a little, but she already knew this beforehand so it doesn't last long.

I remember we have plans today to get together with all of our family and friends, to enjoy food and presents for each other at the Cullen's' place.

My eyes tear up again. I'm so happy with our little family, so relieved that I have everything back.


	48. Chapter 48

**47.**

The holidays pass quickly, and life continues. Although it was disorienting for me at first, all of the memories tumbled together and confusing, I manage to get back to regular life pretty fast.

It took me a bit to get used to the fact that I quit my regular job and am now a stay at home mom and a writer. But a couple of days in I find that I love the routine I set up for myself and I wouldn't want anything else.

I get to spend time with my two kids, rest enough so the little one in my belly won't be in danger and I get to do what I love most: writing. My life is almost perfect, just like it used to be.

Now if only I could shake the fear that something will take it away from me again, then life really would be perfect.


	49. Chapter 49

**48.**

_Thank you, thank you so much, Fate, for giving me this second chance with my family and friends. I'll never take them for granted again._

I shoot up a quick prayer while I am watching Emma, who is drawing and just babbling to herself.

When I think back to my first 'chance', I am almost shocked by how much I took everything for granted, counting on having it all forever. Now I know everything can be taken away very quickly, leaving you with nothing left.

No happiness.

No loved ones.

It makes me nauseous when I think about what was needed to make me realize that. I feel gratitude for knowing better now. And I'll enjoy every minute of every day so I can say I lived my life to the fullest should something happen.


	50. Chapter 50

**49.**

It's another get together with family and friends. I've gotten comments from not only my mom, but also more than one friend and even Edward about how quiet I am. But I can't help it, I'm just watching everyone, studying them to see if they're different.

From what I've seen so far, they're not.

I'm the only one who has been changed drastically, seeing the world through different eyes. I'm the only one who appreciates every minute of happiness, good health and the presence of everyone.

My family and friends mean so much to me, enough that I'd sacrifice myself for them. And they'll never know it. So I just make sure I tell each and every one of them I love them. When I hear them ask Edward what the hell is going on, he blames it on hormones.

He'll never know.


	51. Chapter 51

**50. Epilogue**

"Grandma, Grandma! Please tell us a story?"

I laugh at Jenny's enthusiasm, so like her mother, so like her grandma Alice.

"What kind of story do you want to hear, honey?" I answer. I lock eyes with Edward across the room and we share a special smile, sharing a secret thought.

"Anything!"

"Alright, Alright… I will tell you a story I have never told anyone," I start. "There once was a girl, who had it all…"

Two hours later I'm in the kitchen, cooking dinner for my grandchild and husband. Suddenly I feel arms wrap around me, lips on my neck sending shivers down my spine.

"I love you, Bella. What a story you told there though, I'm impressed. Did you make it up on the spot?" Edward asks me softly.

I shake my head, smiling. "No, I've had it in my mind for a while."

"Good story."

"Thanks," I say, giving him a kiss. "I think so too."

He'll never know the truth.

* * *

><p><strong>That's it.<strong>

**I do have a couple of things to say. First of all, if you ever have suicidal thoughts, don't do what Bella did but go to a professional and talk about it. Second, I hope you have picked up on the little lessons I've wanted to try and show you through this story. Number one, wishing things happened differently doesn't always mean they would've gone the way you wanted, and often you have more impact on people's lives than you think. Number two, treasure everything you have, you never know when it might be taken away from you.**

**Thank you for reading, thanks to everyone who to my beta, texasbella, and thanks to the other February authors who have kept me sane.**


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